Deathers are the New Birthers

Sure, you've heard of the Birthers, whose big noise recently declined into a low buzz. Now, we've got the Deathers, a rag-tag bunch of wacky Repubnuts who refuse to believe that Osama bin Laden is dead.

Just when you thought - okay, shut that bunch down, now we can talk about real issues, the fundamental concerns of the actual Republican Party - real serious people with important issues like cutting taxes for beleaguered zillionaires and making sure abortions for 14 year old rape victims are not funded by the government.

The Deathers, however, are not quite the untied front as the Birthers. Some only want to see a photograph of the deceased Osama bin Laden. Others will not believe a photograph. People just don't look like themselves when they're dead, especially after being shot in the face.

Maybe they should have captured O. b. L. alive, which certain people wouldn't believe either. They could have forced him to appear on a nationally televised interview with Barbara Walters. She could have asked him the tough questions like, "Tell us, what makes Osama bin Laden tick?"

(The answer, of course, is a time bomb. But I digress.)

Deathers have lots of interesting takes on the death of the Al Qaeda leader and ex CIA operative once known as Tim Osman. Like the one where bin Laden has been on ice; that is actually kept in a large block of ice somewhere and a transformer blew the electricity producing a nasty thaw. Then there is the one that has the United States Government as a front for the Vatican, and a bunch of Jesuits in body armor captured bin Laden years ago. Or the right wing talk show host who claims that President Obama unlawfully assassinated bin Laden on a giddy whim after incurring lots of laughs in a recent roast.

Let us recall back in the early days after Obama won the election, when the Right Wing talk show hosts encouraged their fellow Americans to stand against anything and everything the new president said or did. The Deathers dogedly follow that sage advice. Let's band together for our country, sabotage the presidency, oppose good ideas, disbelieve anything we hear that we don't like, even if we would like it if our guy was behind it.

Now that makes sense! (Not)

Hey, Facebook now has a message board entitled Osama bin Laden Not Dead. Deathers are the new Birthers!